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How to Be a More Thoughtful Husband

Updated: Sep 21, 2023

Married couple sitting on a rock in nature, she is leaning into him.

Wanting to become a more attentive husband and growing your relationship is a common goal for many husbands. Even though becoming a more thoughtful partner will enhance your marriage, the main challenge most husbands face is making time to be thoughtful.

With work, business, kids, and personal relationships all demanding your attention; finding time to improve your marriage may fall through the cracks.

Figuring out how to make the space for the important relationships may be easier than you realize!

Often, it is the little moments – good and bad – that accumulate over the lifetime of a relationship. These small daily actions or inactions will either elevate your relationship or tear it down.

Your responses, in every moment of the relationship, determine if there is growth or setbacks. It is imperative to take each conflict and beautiful moment seriously, to respond healthily. Thinking of your partner often and making decisions on what is best for both of you will benefit your marriage.

Unfortunately, in today's world of busyness and competing priorities, it is easy to overlook the simple actions you can do to be thoughtful and better your relationship.

Good news! Improving your marriage can be easy if you put in a little effort.

Show your appreciation

Feeling appreciated and loved is important; everyone wants to feel wanted and loved in their important relationships. Show her that you appreciate her beyond her outer beauty by letting your wife know how grateful you are for her and that value the relationship. This will make sure your wife feels special.

Be grateful

Thoughtful man holding a grateful sign.

Start each day with gratitude. Reminding yourself of the reasons you are thankful for your wife and change your focus from the negative to the positive. Jotting down or thinking of daily reasons why you are grateful for her can really boost your mood. Reminding yourself why you fell in love can reignite your spark and connection.

Doing this daily will change the focus of your day and foster positive interactions with your wife. A gratitude practice can transform your marriage and further develop the relationship.

Keeping a journal of how blessed you are to have your spouse is a great tool when you feel yourself forgetting. Reading through your positive thought history allows you to remember gratitude from your marriage and use it in the present moment.

Expressing gratitude to your spouse creates a better attitude toward them, and you increase the chance that they will reflect that same attitude back to you.

Plan regular check-ins

Having regular and frequent conversations with your wife helps you both stay connected and in tune with each other. Continuing to stay connected with your spouse is essential to a long and happy marriage. Doing daily activities together is an excellent time to have your conversations.

Cook dinner together, play a game of cards or relax on your patio.

Need ideas for fun activities you can do together? Check out The Adventure Challenge.

Compliment her

Cherish her, perform simple gestures so that she is reminded that you love her. Hold the door open for her, cook dinner, and compliment her. Complimenting your wife keeps the relationship alive and fresh.


Smiling married couple

Smiling, an easily forgotten gesture of kindness.

Life can be downright chaotic, and nothing is better than remembering to slow down. Taking the extra time to enjoy the little things, and smiling at each other provides another way to connect. Smiling is such an easy action that can produce huge results. Smiles have a profound impact on the giver and the recipient.

Take that moment. Stop. Slow down. Smile. Enjoying your partner’s company will create a life you want to live.

Remember the important stuff

Don’t forget about life’s meaningful occasions. Every birthday, holiday, and celebration is an opportunity to show love. Grab a card and actually write in it. Yes, don’t just sign your name but include a heartfelt note.

Thoughtful love note with caption "I love you"

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Take the opportunity to show your love on all other occasions too. Anniversaries, Mother's Day, birthdays, and Valentine's Day are all reasons to celebrate and shower her with your love and affection.

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Make learning about your wife a lifetime adventure

Give her your full attention

When listening to her, be attentive. It might seem like a simple gesture, but it has powerful consequences.

One of the keys to effective marriage and life is to understand others first. Learning about her should be a top priority for you. Really pay attention and ask questions to understand her interests and what makes her tick.

When she talks to you, truly listen to her. Stop what you’re doing and comprehend what she is communicating to you. Being an active partner in your marriage means going beyond listening, but to process what she is saying to you.

Take mental notes

In your interactions throughout everyday life, identify the things she says she likes in casual conversations and make mental notes. If you’re forgetful, type them on your phone to use later.

You can use these ideas and interests for future gifts or spontaneous date nights to keep your love alive. Not only does it show her how much you love her and that you’re constantly thinking of her, but she will also appreciate your efforts and your connection will continue to grow.

Be spontaneous and take action

These ideas and thoughts are wonderful; however, they do not benefit you or your spouse if you aren’t taking action.

"The smallest of actions is always greater than the noblest of intentions," -Robert Sharma.

It is vital in a marriage to let your wife know that she is important, even when you are away. Call her on your break, or during your drive to work. Send a heartfelt text message or flowers.

Elevate your relationship with small but meaningful gestures. Join you:MoreThoughtful today and let us guide you to a more thoughtful and loving marriage.

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